Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Day Summer Ended

Often life takes us in a direction rapidly, and we generally perceive that orientation as forward. It is an ardent current that catapults us through a gauntlet of decisions which ultimately determines our future fate. Upon the rare moment that our heads breach surface for a breath we have an opportunity to evaluate our life. How did we come upon this life we live now? When did our youth end? Through pangs of nostalgia we conjure images of happier times when life was a little simpler and we were a little more pure. In such a breath I found the change in current, and it was a hot summer day of August 2006. The day that the summer of my youth had ended.

It was mid morning on an August Saturday. A morning that saw no appreciable difference in temperature from the previous day. It was only ten in the morning and I could feel dampness starting in all the unwanted places. I stood in my kitchen enjoying the cool fake hardwoods on my bare feet, while my two cats circled me expectantly. With a cut open water bottle I scooped a generous amount of kibble from their food bin and heaped it in to their small food bowl. With no gratification they began to scarf their morning meal. My cell emitted a default ring tone from my shorts pocket. I extracted it as I carefully set down a full water bowl for the two ingrates. I glanced at he display before answering...Beau.
“Hello?”
“Heya stud. Whatta are ya up to today.”
“Nothing monumental. Why? What are you up to?”
“I was planning to moving my stuff up to the Portland house today, and was wondering if I could get your help.”
“Not a problem. What time you want me there?”
“Not long, just need a couple more hours to pack...2:30ish?
“Alright see you then.”
“Bye”
“Later”
I sighed and dropped the cell in the cargo pocket. It was not a surprise that Beau was leaving. I knew after he interned last summer that they were going to hire him after graduation. That was last summer though...a year never seemed so short. I ate a bowl of cereal and enjoyed the cold crunch as the outside temperature rose.

I made my way to Beau's house off of Northwest Highway. Windows down, vent full blast, and the stereo blaring to overcome the cacophony of traffic. Modest Mouse, the Moon & Antarctica consoled me as I made the trip across town. The sun was already past it's pinnacle and the intensity could be felt whenever I was stopped at a light. My sweat soaked into the fabric of the seat covers.

I arrived and Beau had most of his possessions in the back of his father's degraded blue pick up truck. Save for the heavy items he was nearly finished. After heavy perspiration and some lightly muttered curses we were ready for the drive to Portland. We stopped at a Shell station where a derelict attendant filled the tank. I went in to pick up a couple beverages and snacks for the road. The truck's guttural engine sank into a steady rhythm as we hit its maximum speed on I-5. The drive was filled with capricious dialog that avoided mentioning depressing reality at hand. We enjoyed the company as it lasted unaware of when our next encounter would be.
We arrived in Portland's concrete embrace as we were swept along familiar traffic patterns. Finally we stretched our road weary legs as Beau acquainted me with his new residence. A charming house with all interior design picked at the fashionable peak of 1972. A collage of ugly hues and patterns adorned the walls and floors, including a fake vista wallpaper of a lakeside. The only redeeming decor was a light fixture that reminded me of an ancient Egyptian Orb. Over the next hour we unpacked the truck and decided to get cleaned up before we went out for dinner. The shower and the cooling air of the evening brought me great relief. We found some dinner and brought it back to nosh in the sparsely furnished living room.

Exhausted from the long hot day we hit the hay early. Beau crashed out on his mattress crammed into the corner of the living room. I got the sofa. The streetlight cast a orange light through the open windows softly illuminating the room. I stared at the ugly lakeside wallpaper stifling depression and sadness. I knew that we would keep in touch, that our bond wouldn't diminish with distance. It was something I was unable to understand at the time, something unbidden.

Euphoric after the conclusion of my college career I was unable to leave the town that held a cache of wonderful memories. A network of friends and the strong familiarity of Eugene I sought to extend the idealistic life. I accepted a job below my ability, and continued to live like I was still in school. Defiant of real responsibility I drank and played while my job received minimal deference. Beau was attending law school, and Josh was working as a chemist on the other side of town. Each one of us at a stop gap in life knowing the inevitable footfall of adulthood would come shortly. Our finite time was filled with football games, disc golf, beer, ladies, ultimate, laughter, and great conversations. We had formed a triumvirate of kinship that staved off the earnest decisions of our future. Together we were invulnerable...we were good. I was happy.
A swell emotions caught in my throat as I watched a member of our triad depart from the reverie. The glow of the ideal life waned. Although Josh and I stayed close we knew there had been a loss. Inextricably Josh and I would be drawn into the current. I quit my job and took on another position with higher pay and responsibility. Josh was accepted to medical school. Our triumvirate was splayed by distance and constraints of life. We left behind our fading youth to face a new set of challenges. A current of unmade decisions that run into a distant, unknown horizon.

On that cool August night bathed in an orange luminescence I stared sullenly at the surreal lake. The current could no longer be ignored. It was the end of summer...my summer.